Now in month 10 of unemployment, I have taken up a new pastime: commercial heckling. I often find myself screaming at television ads, or more specifically, screaming at the creative teams behind the ads. "What the hell were you thinking?" is the most common jeer, but in a close second is the ever-popular, "I could do better than these jerks!"
While I stand behind my criticism (and the firm belief that I could write circles around plenty of the mysteriously employed copywriters out there), there is a special segment of the commercial population that exists in a realm beyond my imaginative abilities. It is what I like to call the Advertising Twilight Zone. I can see the brand identity in these ads, but I can't even begin to explain how these ideas came to be. I'm not even sure I understand them, but they are mesmerizing nonetheless.
The nemesis of new Cheetos Mighty Zingers? REO Speedwagon. Naturally. Who hasn't sat up late into the night pondering this universal truth?
Ohhhhhhh, so that's what Old Spice Odor Blocker does. I thought it was science or something, but obviously I was wrong. Good thing that's all cleared up.
I can't decide if this is stupid or brilliant. I'm leaning towards brilliant, but only because I wish I had been in the meeting where that space cadet copywriter suggested "unnoticed shark attack" as an option for selling Nicorette. Either that, or I wish my brain worked in such a way where I would think to suggest it myself. I hope it's the former.
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